The Power of 20 Seconds: A Simple Self-Compassion Practice to Ease Stress and Anxiety

In our busy world, managing stress and anxiety feels more important than ever. Many people turn to meditation or therapy for relief, but did you know that something as simple as a 20-second self-compassionate touch could make a difference? Eli Susman, a dedicated meditator and PhD candidate at the University of California, Berkeley, discovered this after an unexpected realization during a mindfulness retreat at Plum Village, a Buddhist center in France.

A Shift in Perspective: From Hours to Seconds

At the retreat, Eli expected to spend long hours meditating. To his surprise, formal meditation sessions lasted just 30 minutes each day. Curious, he spoke with a monk, who suggested that sometimes, all it takes to be present is three deep breaths — around 20 seconds. This sparked Eli’s interest in how such short moments of mindfulness could improve mental well-being.

What is Self-Compassionate Touch?

Self-compassionate touch is a simple way to comfort yourself by using physical touch. In Eli’s study, this included gestures like gently hugging yourself, placing a hand over your heart, or massaging your neck. It’s similar to how you might comfort a friend in distress. The beauty of this practice is in its simplicity. You can do it anywhere, anytime, without needing special tools or a quiet space.

The Science Behind 20 Seconds

In a study published in Behaviour Research and Therapy, Eli found that just 20 seconds of self-compassionate touch could lower stress, boost self-kindness, and improve overall mental health. Participants who practiced this for a month saw even better results. It turns out that these small moments can have a big impact. The study showed a drop in cortisol, the stress hormone, after the touch, suggesting that this quick practice can bring lasting mental health benefits.

How to Practice Self-Compassionate Touch

Here’s how you can try it:

1. Close your eyes and think about a recent moment when you felt stressed or down.

2. Gently place your hand on your chest, arms, or neck — wherever feels most comforting.

3. Focus on the warmth of your touch and imagine how you would comfort a friend in the same situation.

4. After 20 seconds, notice how your body and mind feel.

This practice is quick, easy, and can be done anywhere — from your home to a busy train. Try setting reminders, like doing it after brushing your teeth, to make it a daily habit.

Who Benefits?

This practice is great for anyone, especially those with busy schedules, like students or professionals, who struggle to find time for self-care. The study found that participants reported feeling less stressed and more compassionate toward themselves after just a few weeks of daily practice. While it’s not a replacement for therapy, self-compassionate touch can complement other mental health strategies.

Mindfulness Without the Time Commitment

One of the biggest hurdles in mindfulness is time. Traditional practices can feel overwhelming with their longer sessions. But Eli’s research shows that even 20 seconds of mindfulness can have a real impact. This makes it easier for people to integrate mindfulness into their routines and stick with it.

A Quick Mental Health Tool

In a world where many struggle to find time for self-care, self-compassionate touch offers a quick, effective way to support your mental health. It doesn’t replace therapy or meditation but adds a practical tool to your wellness routine. This is especially important in today’s “touch-deprived” culture, where people often forget to care for themselves the way they would for others.

Be Kind to Yourself in Just 20 Seconds

Eli Susman’s research reminds us that being kind to ourselves doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Whether you’re stressed out or just feeling off, 20 seconds of self-compassionate touch can help you reset. It’s a simple, powerful way to remind yourself that you deserve kindness too.